I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

“Why does your dog steal underwear?”

“Who knows. Im assuming it was the stalker who trained Obama back when I was in America.”

“Why doesnt he become an animal trainer instead of being a stalker with his skills!”

“Winnie, if you steal the manservants line, he wouldnt have anything to do…”

I wasnt trying to eavesdrop on their conversation, but I couldnt find the right time to enter.

“Winnie, I have a lot of new underwear here, so just pick any one of them.”

“Eh, I would feel bad…”

Is this the right time to be polite? Then you wouldnt feel bad returning home with no underwear?

“What about this pair? Its pretty elastic, so you should be able to fit in it too.”

“Why are you saying it like I have a large butt…”

“It is larger than mines by a lot, but try it on.”

“Ah, its too tight, its strangling me.”

“It cant be helped, thats the largest pair I have. Just put up with it for a while.”

“Aah, why did I wear the Qing Zi Academy uniform again? I should have worn my t-shirt and shorts, that way it would be fine even if I wasnt wearing any underwear.”

“Youll be questioned if you walk around the academy without an uniform. Dont you think it would be awful if you get taken in for questioning while not wearing underwear?”

“Thats true… but the underwear is too tight…”

“If you cant bear with it, Ill tell the manservant to take his off and give it to you…”

What a rotten idea. It sounds like they were both changing, so I entered the room. I could see Xong YaoYue standing with her legs pressed together with an uncomfortable expression while Ai Mi was sitting on the sofa drinking a can of sugar free iced coffee.

“How did you get in?” Xiong YaoYue asked, “I clearly locked the door.”

Ai Mi looked up and said calmly:

“Obama opened the door after stealing your underwear. He can open most simple door locks.”

Ai Mi realized both me and Xiong YaoYue were looking at her with a strange expression.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Why else? Its because of crafty and sly dog.

Xiong YaoYue wanted to stay for dinner before the underwear incident, but she changed her mind and said farewell to Ai Mi.

“Miss Ai Mi. Tomorrow is Monday and I realized I have a lot of unfinished homework. May I head home first?”

“Alright.” Although she seemed indifferent, you could hear slight disappointment in her voice, “Im also getting tired… Ill let Peng TouSi drive you home.”

“No need.” Xiong YaoYue frantically waved her hands, “My homes not far, so Ill walk back by myself. I ate too much for lunch and Ill get fat if I dont get some exercise.”

“Its fine since you only gain weight on your breasts and butt…” Ai Mi grumbled.

“Go ahead, Ill give you a lot of benefits as long as you stay loyal to me.”

“Um… can you let Ye Lin accompany me?”

“Why?”

“I have some stuff I want to discuss with him. But if youre unwilling to let, then I could head home my self since its not that important.”

“Tsk, I could get a thousand menservants like him at the subway station, why would I be unwilling. You can take him with you and discuss about our Dota team.”

“Ah? Isnt it LOL, I dont know how to play Dota!”

“Whatever.” Ai Mi said, “Anyway, you have to make sure to build a team that would carry… no, a team I could lead to victory. Then, that would be a great merit and Ill raise you to a level 7 follower and you can experience better treatment.”

I was curious, so I pointed to myself and asked me: “What level am I?”

Ai Mi twisted her head to one side and snorted.

“Youre at level -1000. You only raise one level for every year youre loyal to me.”

So I would have to wait 1000 years to even get into the positives? Do you think Im a thousand year old tortoise?

Thus I accompanied my level 1007 senior filled with gloom and walked out towards Qing Zi Academys gates.

As we passed by the gate, the security guard glanced at them, but I was already a familiar face since Ive been coming a lot. Xiong YaoYue was also wearing a uniform, so we didnt get exposed.

“Ye Lin.” We walked to a secluded alley across the road and Xiong YaoYue said with a poor expression, “I think Im out of luck.”

“What, why?”

“Didnt you hear the phrase joy and sorrow go hand in hand? Wasnt there someone in England who won the lottery but was then sued, so in the end he actually owed tens of millions of dollars?”

“How is that related to you?”

“How is it not? Too many good things happened today, so I knew I would get retribution. Look, my underwear was stolen by Clinton.”

Its Obama, not Clinton, thought Clinton may actually have a hobby of stealing underwear (maybe those that belong to White House interns).

“If I stayed for dinner, I may encounter even worse misfortune like being flattened by a road roller when I leave.”

Does a normal car not satisfy you? Do you have to be flattened into a sheet of paper?

“Ye Lin, why arent you scared? Havent you heard that the amount of happiness you have in life is finite? If you use it all early on in life, then the only thing waiting for you is misfortune.”

Who told you those unscientific claims. If you even believe those outrageous lies, be careful so you wont be tricked into joining a MLM.

“I have to take steps to change my fate.”

Xiong YaoYue pulled out the ¥900 she won from Ai Mi.

“It must have been because this was earned too easily, so I have to donate it.”

I held back my laugh, “Who are you going to donate it to?”

Xiong YaoYue scrunched her brows and began to think:

“Well, the red cross wouldnt work, since I would rather just spend it myself than give it to Guo MeiMei… do you know any reliable charity foundations?”

“If it was me, I would donate it to Jet Lis One Foundation. At least they make their financials public every year and Jet Li has a well-known reputation. If something does go wrong, then we all know who to blame.”

“Huh, it sounds like youve donated to One Foundation before?”

Actually, Ive never donated, but my dad has donated during the 2013 Lushan earthquake. At the time, they even posted on their website what they lacked most were supplies like tents, sleeping bags, and comforters, and hoped people would donate them.

Our shop had a number of supplies, but none of them can be used in a disaster…

“Alright, since you have experience, Ill let you donate this money to the One Foundation.” Xiong YaoYue said as she stuffed the money in my hands.

Her fingers trembled slightly as she parted reluctantly with the money.

I noticed and laughed: “You earned it by letting Ai Mi ride you like a horse, so you should at least keep ¥100.”

“Is that alright?” It was as if she was awaiting permission.

“Why not? Havent you seen All for the Winner where they would donate 95% of their winnings from gambling so that they would keep winning? You wont lose moral character as long as you donate a large portion of it.”

“That makes sense, but whats 95% of 900…” Xiong YaoYue counted her fingers.

“You dont have to calculate it, its fine if you donate ¥800. When I get home, Ill use online banking to…”

I suddenly remembered that Jet Li talked about how getting donations was difficult, but spending donations was even more difficult. It seems they also have certain costs when they legally spend donation money.

If thats the case, why give the One Foundation so much trouble? Isnt there a perfect place nearby? Its the school for handicapped students that Peng TouSi brought me to before.

The handicapped school was established by Ai ShuQiaos husband, John. But Ai ShuQiao has always wanted to dissolve it, thats why the schools been running into financial troubles lately. Some of the teachers even took the initiative and deferred their own paycheques.

I could connect with Peng TouSi and ask him to donate this money to the school. Even though its not a lot, it would still add up over time. Then if Xiong YaoYue wants to donate again, I can even take her to the school to check it out.

But I wont play Go anymore with Xiao Yu, the kid with cerebral palsy, because its too embarrassing to lose every time.

I told Xiong YaoYue about the handicapped school in the Yi Ning district and asked her if she would allow me to donate it to the school instead.

I heard there are a lot of children there who suffer from various handicaps, but even if the teachers are loving, some students may have to leave due to the financial situation of the school. Xiong YaoYue couldnt help but be moved and it seemed she was about to cry at any minute.

She gave the remaining ¥100 back to me and said:

“Give it all to them. Im happy enough that I have all four limbs.”

“If youre trying to save your character, then 95% is enough…”

“Ill do 95% next time, they are living difficult lives… but I was enjoying my luxurious meal… sob sob….”

Dont wipe your tears with your sleeves, passersby would think Im bullying you!

Since Xiong YaoYue was wearing tight underwear, she had to keep her legs together when walking and it made her seem more virtuous.

“Winnie, youll definitely be more popular with the boys if you want like this.” Im not sure why I told her that.

“Well, if I walk too fast, my underwear will explode.”

“Explode?”

“Even if it doesnt explode, it would still tear! Thats why you should walk slower!”

She reached out and held onto my arm.

“What are you doing!” I was shocked.

“What else.” Xiong YaoYue leaned half her body on me and rolled her eyes, “To make you walk slower while borrowing your body to prevent the underwear from tearing.”

“If youre that worried, you should have let Peng TouSi drive you home.”

“But that would drop my character, I didnt even stay for dinner.”

Xiong YaoYues ample bosom rubbed against my arm and made me feel weird.

“Please stop… I cant walk properly, can I call a cab for you?”

“You want to take a cab when you have four functioning limbs? How can you face those handicapped kids?”

Huh, why are you trying to educate me? I was only worried about your underwear… tearing.

“Its fine for us to link arms since youre gay.”

“Havent I already told you a hundred times that Im not gay.”

“Okay, okay, Ill make sure to keep it a secret in public…”

Since we were both wearing Qing Zi Academy uniforms and acting intimately, most other passersby would mistake us for a couple.

“Hehe, its pretty fun…”

“How?”

“Everyone passing by thinks youre my boyfriend, but they dont know youre ga…”

I stared at her fiercely and she swallowed her words.

But she was discontent, so she turned around and spoke to an elementary school girl who was returning home from class.

“Make sure to never find a boyfriend with a bad temper.”

She said as she pointed to the bandaid on her face.

“Thats domestic violence, and my legs were almost crippled.”

The little girl glanced at us and quickly ran away with a pale face.

“What are you saying?” I wanted to hit her on her head, but she caught my fist.

Then she began to shout: “Hitting me in public? Someone come and help! My life is so cruel!”

“Stop talking, Im begging you.” I admitted defeat before a crowd gathered.

“Ah!” Xiong YaoYue suddenly screamed and her face flushed red.

“What?”