If I Can’t Be Your Wife

Fortunately, Luci did not have convulsions again since then.
However, just like Alexis ordered, the number of servants taking care of the child greatly increased and a new doctor was also assigned.

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And, above all, he increased the number of visits to see the child.

 

“The Master is visiting more often these days.”

 

Emily, who was pouring tea, whispered.
Kathleen fiddled with her teacup and fixed her gaze.

 

Alexis sat the child on his thigh while listening to the new doctor.
Luci was playing with the toy drum he had brought him.
He was clearly in a good mood because he babbled incomprehensible words in a high pitched tone and struggled to stand up.

 

This scene where Alexis was holding the child tightly in one arm looked very natural.
It had been almost a month so it seems like he has gotten used to handling the child now.

 

“I think the young master likes master too.”

 

When Kathleen didn’t answer, Emily added as she tried to hide her expectations with a childish expression.
It was evident in her face that she was hoping that Kathleen’s heart would be moved a little.

 

“He’s still young, so it can’t be helped.”

 

After her short reply, she maintained her silence by drinking her tea.
As if it were an important part of the day, Alexis would always stop by around this time to see her child.
Kathleen would try to stay far away.

 

As Emily said, whenever she saw him treat her child this way, her heart would feel troubled.
Because this was a scene that she had exactly imagined when she was still pregnant with Luci.

 

However, Joseph, who was smiling while hugging Luci, crossed her mind.
Along with the figure of him falling into the endless darkness.

 

– Oh, Duke.
I can’t do this any more.

– Continue.

 

And the unforgettable conversation she heard on the day she left.

The voices that had pushed her into the depths of despair were still vivid, therefore she couldn’t take his words and actions with sincerity.

 

I will probably never forget it for the rest of my life.

 

Kathleen tried to pull herself together.

 

“Mom!”

[T/N: He says omma]

 

Luci somewhat articulately called her, flailed his arms and stretched them towards her.
When she looked at him, Alexis approached with the child in his arms.
Emily quietly withdrew from the bedroom with the doctor.

 

“The child’s health is fine.
She said that he is developing faster than his peers.”

“I see.”

“I heard from Emily that he can already crawl and flip over.
Perhaps in a month or so, he might be able to walk on his own.”

“I know that too.”

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Luci, who was in Alexis’ arms, murmured and shook the toy drum.
The decorations on both sides hit the leather, making a cheerful sound.
Then Luci smiled happily and turned to Alexis.

 

“Dad!”

[T/N: He says appa.]

 

It was a much clearer pronunciation than ‘mom’.
Luci shook the drum in his hand as Alexis stroked his head proudly.
He still looked a bit awkward but nonetheless gentle.

 

Kathleen bit her lip involuntarily.

 

“It’s probably because pronouncing ‘dad’ is easier than ‘mom’.”

 

Alexis said as he put Luci in her arms.

 

“His words will get better eventually.”

 

He looked satisfied.
Kathleen said, hugging Luci.

 

“Now that Luci is fine, it would be better for you to focus on your official duties.”

“Don’t worry about that.”

“Isn’t it important to the Duke?”

“I changed my mind.”

 

Despite the polite dismissal, he shamelessly held out his hand.  He acted ignorant of the rejection.  

 

“Shall we go out together?”

“……”

“I am now interested in things like this.
Things I’ve never done before.”

 

Without pulling his hand away, Alexis continued.

 

“Drinking tea, going for a walk, and talking about things.
These are things that I can’t do without you.
Taking care of the estate and preparing for war are things I can do alone.”

 

She looked down at the unwavering hand he extended to her.
The man who was patiently waiting for an answer didn’t seem like he would back down easily.

 

Kathleen asked cautiously.

 

“Will that make you lose interest?”

“What?”

“When you find out what it feels like to do things you haven’t done before, you’ll realize that it’s not as great as you think.
Then you won’t want to waste your time on these annoying things in the future.”

 

She wasn’t expecting an answer.
It was almost like a promise to herself, a conviction that he would definitely be that way.

 

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“Then let’s go.”

 

The slightly touching fingertips were instantly caught like they were being sucked into the large hand.
The man’s hand, which was tightly entangled as he dug between her fingers, was strong.

 

She was pulled in and their distance quickly narrowed.
The pair of golden eyes looking down at her blazed like the flames of a bonfire.
Luci, caught in the middle, burst out laughing, no doubt enjoying it.

 

“Then get ready to go.
Wear the earrings I sent you.”

 

When he told her to be a doll who would move as he desired, he seemed to be referring to the wrapper as well.
As Kathleen nodded her head, he turned and left the bedroom.

 

***

 

As soon as she got on the waiting carriage, Alexis knocked on the window and it started driving right away.
He was wearing comfortable clothes, not the duke’s uniform he wore earlier.

 

‘Did you want to pretend to be a commoner?’

 

As she involuntarily fixed her hat’s laces and thought this, her eyes met his.

 

“Why are you dressed like that?”

 

Her heart sank as he spoke indifferently.

 

– Where have you been? Dressed like that?

 

That was what he said before.
Like a denial that she was not worthy of the Duchess’ prestige.

 

Her hand, which was about to tie the laces, lost strength.

 

“It makes me want to dig out b*stards’ eyes.”

 

His hand came under her chin and gently loosened the lace then tied a knot.
Kathleen asked involuntarily.

 

“What do you mean?”

“Literally.”

 

Moving away again, he crossed his arms and leaned back on the velvet sofa.

 

“It means you look good in that dress.”

“…..”

“If the place we were going wasn’t a temple, I would have turned the carriage around and gone back.”

 

Due to his calm attitude, Kathleen belatedly understood his next words.

 

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“We’re going to the Temple right now?”

“That’s right, Delafos.”

“Why are we going there?”

 

Her voice became a little sharper with anxiety.
Alexis replied nonchalantly.

 

“You like that place.
We received an invitation to a charity event.”

 

She had gotten so many invitations from the social circle that she had to throw them all away and had forgotten that invitations from the Temple came as well.
However, after leaving the duke’s residence, there would have been no separate donations, so she wondered why an invitation came.

 

“Perhaps more than half of the donations to the Temple of Delafos came from Walten, so they have no choice but to send invitations every time.”

“…After I left, did you continue to make donations?”

 

He nodded and then added.

 

“Yes.
I kept donating like you did.
In your name.”

 

He must have tried to track her down using Joseph.

 

Even as she thought like that, she couldn’t stop feeling weird.
The Duke of Walten, who was closer to conquest and slaughter than helping the poor, continued to pay instead of cutting off his donations.

 

The carriage stopped as she silently looked out the window.

 

“Let’s get off.”

 

Alexis got down first and then held out his hand.
Kathleen didn’t want to touch him, but because he stood firm in front of the carriage door, he would likely not move unless she held his hand.

 

Just like before, as soon as she grabbed his hand, her arm was dragged away at once.
He hugged her waist and lowered her to the ground immediately and did not unlink their entangled hands until the end.

 

“Your Grace, Duke of Walten.”

 

Upon arriving at the Temple’s entrance, the apprentice priest bowed his head with a puzzled expression.
It was their principle not to reveal their identity in charity gatherings, but the man with dark hair and gold eyes, not the lady, was a person everyone knew even if he did not open his mouth.

 

Alexis followed his guidance and casually walked forward.
As Kathleen felt the gazes of those around her, she quietly followed him.

 

‘I can’t even come to Delafos next time.’

 

The woman who accompanied Duke Walten would not be easily forgotten.
Fortunately, the other patrons had not yet arrived, so only the Temple people were at the garden where the charity gathering was going to be held.

 

She could have been an ordinary patron at Delafos, but she couldn’t even do that anymore.
Her mouth tasted bitter.

 

“Older brother?”

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As they were about to go to the seat reserved for patrons, they heard a familiar voice.
Alexis and Kathleen looked back at the same time.

 

Peter and Count Schenberg, dressed in casual clothes, stood there.
Alexis muttered.

 

“Why are you here?”

 

Peter came closer, waving his hand in a friendly way.
Count Schenberg was right behind him.

 

“Sit down.”

 

Alexis let go of her hand and pointed to a chair.
But Peter approached before she could do that.

 

“Brother… no, my lord.
What are you doing here?”

“That’s what I want to ask you.”

 

Alexis, who blocked Kathleen, responded.

 

“Why did you come here together?”

“I am very interested in the poor relief project so I have visited several times before.
The Count asked to accompany me, saying he was interested since most of the poor were refugees from the South.”

“It looks like you made the Count your lieutenant.”

 

Count Schenberg shrugged.

 

“Not yet, but it may happen soon.”

 

Peter frowned slightly but quickly recovered.
He felt unfamiliar seeing Kathleen’s appearance like this.
As if she had a pesky headache.

 

Peter poked his head behind Alexis and spoke to her.

 

“Kathleen is here too.
It’s been a while since I’ve seen you at a charity gathering.”

“Yes, my lord.”

 

This time, it was Alexis’ face that contorted.

 

“It’s been a while?”

“I’ve been here a few times with sister-in-law before.”

 

Peter said bluntly.

 

“You’re not angry are you, brother? There’s no reason for any misunderstanding.
Brother couldn’t accompany her anyway, so I went with her.

 

Alexis’ jaw tightened for a moment, but he didn’t say anything.