The Girls Who Traumatized Me Keep Glancing at Me, but Alas, It’s Too Late (WN)

ot alone.
There were two other men, one larger than Yoshikawa and one smaller.
A man with a larger body and a man with a smaller body.

“Long time no see, Suzurikawa” (Yoshikawa) 

“—-Why….why are you here!” (Hinagi)

“Just hanging around.
Why?” (Yoshikawa) 

“What is it, Toshiya? Is there a reason?” (???)

“It was a long time ago.” (Yoshikawa) 

I suppressed my trembling body and raised my voice as if to make a show of it, but it had no effect, as if I had been seen through.
Finally, my brain, which had stopped thinking, began to spin.
I shouldn’t have been dealing with them in the first place.

　It’s a big festival.
Many students participate in the festival.
It’s not unusual to meet someone you know.
I should have ignored them and moved on quickly.
It was a mistake to stand still like this.

“Are you alone? Then why don’t you go around with us?” (???)

　The man who had called Yoshikawa his senior approached him in a familiar manner.
Yoshikawa must be in the second grade.
I wondered if this man was a first grader like me.

“Just right.
Suzurikawa, come with us.” (Yoshikawa) 

“Don’t be silly! Why would I…” (Hinagi)

“You don’t want to get messed up again, do you?” (Yoshikawa) 

“—!” (Hinagi)

　The whispered words brought back flashbacks of my nightmares.

　I cried and cried every day, and struggled to find a way out of it.
I thought I had finally moved on.
I felt as if I was being dragged back into the bottomless pit I thought I had escaped from.

　The past, which I thought I had cut off with the help of others, was once again in my way.

“I’ll entertain you.
Let’s go, shall we?” (Hinagi) 

“I think so.
Suzurikawa…… No, it was Hinagi.
Let’s let bygones be bygones and get along, shall we?” (Yoshikawa) 

He was slowly closing the distance.

　Yoshikawa said again.
So, if I don’t take Yoshikawa’s hand here, will he destroy it again? The daily life that I had finally obtained.
The days that I had hoped to get back.

　–And the bond with him.

　I can’t bear it anymore.

　Like a frog caught in a snake, I couldn’t move.

　The courage I had built up had dissipated too quickly.

“……a……a……” (Hinagi) 

　I couldn’t even raise my voice.

　I hung down helplessly.
In the end, I hadn’t changed at all.
The past would never let go of my grip on my legs.
Like being trapped in an ant hell, I couldn’t get out of my despair.

　I was weak, and I would always be weak.

　I thought I had made up my mind to be strong enough to stand next to him.

　There were tears in my eyes.

　Yoshikawa grabbed my hand.

　I shook off his hand that day, and now he’s not the one holding my hand.

“—-No, I can’t accept that!” (Hinagi) 

　As if driven by emotion, I had rushed out of the place.

　I’ll admit it.
I’m weak.

　I’m always trying to be strong, and I can never be honest.
I’m not like him.

　But I’m not alone.

　I almost forgot again.
I’m sure I’ve made the same mistake over and over again.
I might get in trouble again.
I’m always relying on him.

　Still, what I can’t handle on my own, we can handle together.
With him, I can do anything.
Let’s start all over again.
And this time, I’ll be able to rely on him, to be needed by him.

　It’s not one-sided.
I want us to be equals.

　Because we are “childhood friends”.

[Yoshikawa PoV]

“Oh, you’ve been rejected, haven’t you, senior?” (???)

“What the heck.
Toshiya, was that really your ex-girlfriend?” (???)

“She’s as annoying as ever.” (Yoshikawa) 

　Yoshikawa and the others followed Suzurikawa back with their eyes.
They had no intention of making a scene in such a crowded place.
It was true that they were looking to pick up girls, but there was a lot of trouble at the festival, and the police were keeping a close eye on the area.
I was not foolish enough to act without thinking.

“But she looked good.” (???)

“Did you f**k her yet?” (???)

“No.
But yes, that would be nice if we did.
I don’t want to end up looking like a fool.” (Yoshikawa) 

“That’s what I’m talking about! If he looks like that, he’s going to crash easily, isn’t he? …… Come to think of it, Toshiya was quite popular in junior high school, wasn’t he? I like handsome guys.
They can do whatever they want.” (???) 

“Idiot.
I was quiet in middle school.” (Yoshikawa) 

“Don’t lie to me, Toshiya.” (???) 

“I’m serious.
There was a guy in the grade below me who was really bad and he didn’t stand out at all.” (Yoshikawa) 

“Was there a guy who could fight?” (???) 

“I don’t know, that’s not what…… stopped me.
I don’t even want to think about it.” (Yoshikawa) 

　I almost remembered something very bad and frowned.
It’s like a god who won’t touch you.
If you get involved, nothing good will come of it.
As if to end the conversation, Yoshikawa and the others also walked away.

“Well, I guess I’ll look for someone else today.
We’ll get to the real thing after that.” (Yoshikawa) 

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