21st Century Archmage

“Ughh…”

‘Where am I… I heard my groaning as my consciousness flickered back, piece by piece.Is this heaven or hell? Ahhh, I dont wanna open my eyes.

Judging from all of my past actions, it was 0.1% more likely that this was hell than heaven, so I didnt want to check. The only filial piety I had practiced since being born was sending my parents on the ten thousand dollar cruise vacation. Besides that, there was that time when I ran away from kindergarten, the fight in elementary school, the porn incident in middle school, and in high school, the time I went and disappeared during the school field trip and became a missing person. There was really nothing I could say.

And that wasnt all, either. With the wicked thoughts Id had towards countless women, and the “eat fuck” Id shouted at my master in the very last moment, I would need 100 floggings and an endless 365 day course in hell.

‘Whys this so soft? And the fragrant smell of grass is—?

While I was sighing disconsolately because it seemed that female demons would rush at me when I opened my eyes, various feelings from my senses swarmed in my head. It was a bit difficult to think that this was hell, where sulfurous flame burned all year long and dashed away any worry of getting cold.

‘Maybe its heaven?

Even now, I could feel the hot knife on the skin of my stomach. I suddenly thought that this might not be hell, but heaven.

“Hes still not awake, huh?”

“Shh, hes an injured person.”

“As if! Hmph! He even drank a potion, the lifeblood of the villagers!”

“Deron, stop that. Dad told us, remember? That we have to be sympathetic to people more pitiful than us, in order to be embraced by the Neran, the Goddess of Mercy, when we die.”

“Dont wanna! Rather than being happy after death, Deron wants to eat and play right now!”

‘Wh-what is this sound?

While my senses were coming back to me, I clearly heard words from an unfamiliar language. They were words Id never heard before on the Earth, but as if I had an automatic translator in my head, it was interpreted perfectly.

“Deron, did Dad and I teach you to be like that? Its not just you, everyone is suffering! But how can… you…”

A girl with a clear and pure voice couldnt bear to continue and fell silent.

“B-big sis Cecile, Im sorry. I just… wahh.” When the girl named Cecile fell silent, the boy that had seemed bad mannered cried as he apologized.

‘The rascal, hes a bit rude but looks like he was educated well. Eh, wait. Were they talking about me, just now?

I had been listening in confusion, but someone who had consumed something the villagers treasured, a potion, was being called more pitiful than themselves.

My eyes flashed open.

“GAH!”

And then I screamed.

“Ack!”

“Uwaaah!”

I wasnt the only one who screamed. The cries of the two people who were surprised by my shout rang out in an unfamiliar hut.

‘Where the hell is this! Uwaaaah! Why am I lying in a place like this!

It was neatly organized, but just one glance told me I was inside a house that reeked of poverty. I could see the entirety of a bare, wooden hut that wasnt even 350 sq. feet. There was a kitchen, if it could be called that, with a stove, a few big cauldrons, and a wooden table, and all kinds of animal leather hung on every wall.

On top of that, there was a girl who looked to be my age, and kid about ten years old. Looking at each other as we cried out, our eyes were wide with shock.

“Uwaaah! He, he woke up! The pervert panties bro woke up!”

Ker-chunk! Without giving me a chance to say anything, the kid slammed open the door and left, screaming aboutpervert panties.

“H-hi…”

Even during that, I collected my wits and waved my hand towards the blonde girl, who happened to be quite cute.

“…”

But what I got in response was an expression of horror, as if shed seen a ghost or something. Ker-chunk! While she was open-mouthed in shock, the wooden door banged open.

“Aaghh!”

“M-my goodness, he really did wake up.”

“Looks like the potion was indeed effective.”

Several western women and men suddenly swarmed into the small room. Wearing rough clothes like I mightve seen in a medieval ages movie, they looked and me and whispered amongst themselves.

“H-hello there?”

I didnt exactly know what was going on, but my life was definitely connected to this situation. I stood up and greeted them.

The blanket slipped down.

“AHH!”

“AH, OMO! OMO!”

‘Agh!

But amidst the screams of the women, I sank back down. Surprisingly enough, under the blanket, the only thing covering me was a single pair of underwear Id never seen before, made out of a strange fabric.